Soap Industry Pleads For Bailout As Americans Quit Bathing (SATIRE)

For the most part we were a nation of people who at least showered every day. There were a few who did not. No need to call them out. We all know who they are.

But now, stuck at home, people see no reason to even change out of that t-shirt and pajama bottoms that have been worn for over a week.

Those who work from home - please at least put on a nice shirt before logging into the company video chat. We can see that even the president of the company hasn't brushed his teeth in a while and doesn't bother to comb his hair.

At first some folks cleaned part of their house before they logged in by video. 'Can't have people at work thinking I'm a slob,' was the thought. But now 72 year old Aunt Candice can walk by in the background, naked, curlers in her hair, cigarette dangling from her lip, coffee cup of whisky in her hand, and everybody is used to it.

Things have gotten so bad that America's soap companies have noticed an alarming drop in purchases of what we used to think of as essentials.

Don't believe me? Next time you make a run to the store have a look down that isle. Also note that deodorants and makeup isles have not been touched in weeks.

It has become so bad that the American Hygiene Association is calling for an emergency bailout of the industry.

Everyone wants to step outside and get some fresh air. Truth is, everyone needs to get aired out, and then showered, with soap, and a loofah sponge.