I was a bad boy this year because I wanted coal in my stocking.

I better get a bigger stocking.

Think of it, we have a win-win here.

I get to spend the year saying and doing everything I'm not supposed to, which is nothing but fun, then Santa shows up with COAL!

First, I'm going to light the BBQ grill. I have steaks.

There are some really cold days coming this week. Temperatures will be in the negatives. Please DO NOT get me a wind turbine or solar panels for Christmas. Those things won't help. I need to survive this brutal weather. COAL PLEASE! That will keep me warm.

The water at my house is a little hard. That's not good for the body. I need coal for the water filter so I don't get kidney stones.

Reindeer dressed in a suit Santa Claus Christmas

Coal is used for so many things. Like cement production, carbon fibers and foams, medicines, tars, synthetic petroleum-based fuels, and home and commercial heating, just to name a few.

I want the plants in my house to grow healthy and strong. Coal provides life-giving CO2. Plants love it. CO2 is basically air-born fertilizer. Coal makes the planet greener.

The world needs coal for so many different things.

Coal is a key energy fuel in the production of aluminium – a non-ferrous metal known for its lightweight properties and widely used in cars, trains, and airplanes to reduce the weight of these vehicles and their energy consumption. Coal accounts for over 60% of the energy used to produce aluminium. (World Coal Association). 

There is no way to make those electric cars so many people are talking about it without coal and petroleum.

Coal is an essential ingredient in the production of specialist products, from activated carbon used in filters for water and air purification and in kidney dialysis machines to carbon fibre, the extremely strong but light weight material used in construction.

It is also used in the production of silicon metal used to produce silicones and silanes, which are, in turn, used to make lubricants, water repellents, resins, cosmetics, hair shampoos and toothpastes.

Several chemical products can be produced from the by-products of coal in the coal-to-chemicals (CTC) industry. Refined coal tar is used in the manufacture of chemicals, such as creosote oil, naphthalene, phenol, and benzene. Ammonia gas recovered from coke ovens is used to manufacture ammonia salts, nitric acid and agricultural fertilisers. Thousands of different products have coal or coal by-products as components: soap, aspirins, solvents, dyes, plastics and fibres, such as rayon and nylon.

(World Coal Association). 

So, please, send me coal this winter.

The more the better.

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Tactical Christmas Decorations

Gallery Credit: Glenn Woods