There is really only one way to predict a presidential election. I posted it yesterday and you can see it here. 

Anyone who says "I predicted the last election" is an idiot. I mean, come on, they had a 50/50 chance. They got lucky.

So as long as we are talking stupid, lets look at some of the dumbest methods used.

1. Washington Redskins - This tradition began back in 1936. Basically it says that if the Washington Redskins win their final game before the election night, then the incumbent wins the race. But the Redskins are not called that anymore and Covid-19 screwed up the football schedule. So we can forget that.

2. Height - if you are bored enough, you can check history. Apparently since 1900 the taller candidates have lost to the shorter ones.

3. Halloween Masks - Traditionally whichever mask sold better that year, that candidate won.

4. Name Length - Does it really mean anything that the longer name usually wins? Do middle names count or just the name we use when we talk about them? Trump - Biden. Hmm. What if their names are the same length?

5. Eyebrow Thickness? - Well this is getting really stupid isn't it? But we're not talking about the thickness of the eyebrows of the candidates. According to Women’s Wear Daily, and no, I have never actually read that magazine, it says: “In leaner years [which generally lead to Republican wins], you’ll see thinner eyebrows and redder lipstick, where in more flush economic times you see kind of Brooke Shields uberbrows and more softer [sic] lip colorings.” So...make up styles of the female public can influence election results?

6. Ask Kids -  Starting back in 1940, Scholastic News and Junior Scholastic have polled kids starting in first grade and up to high school seniors. Kids have actually nailed the election all but 2 times.

7. Ask Sylvia Browne - Sylvia predicted every election WRONG for decades. So whoever she picks as the winner will be the loser. - Just one problem. Sylvia is dead.

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