It's been a long winter, and it's not over yet. 

Yellowstone Wyoming bison are eager to get at the tourist as soon as the first of them arrive.

In recent years some of them have been equipped with microphones. You would be amazed to hear what bison talk about when humans are not around.

"Did you hear about that bull in South Dakota that pantsed that one tourist?" (Snorting sounds of several buffalo laughing), "Tossed her high in the air and her jeans were hanging from his horns!" (Snorting).

"I hear tell Steve wandered down to the lowlands in search of grass. He came running right back up as soon as they started shooting at him."

"I can't believe that."

"What, that them humans would shoot at a bison?"

"No, I can't believe Steve was running, much less uphill?"


Steve is fat.

"Well, I'm Hanging close this year to get first dibs on the first fat tourist."

"I like the ones what are from California."

"New York City for me. They ain't never seen a wild animal of any kind so, I like to let them get real close, make them think I'm all cuddly and pet-able, then I GRUNT! If they don't leave me alone right away I draw them in then WHAM!"

(Snorting noises).

"Won't be too long before it warms up and they come back. I knocked down two last year. One was super fat. She rolled down the hill real nice. Like a ball. Screaming all the way."

(Sounds of many bison snorting in laughter).

So now we see that, in reality, tourists are all sport to these bison. So much so, in fact, they keep score.

You might think that by now word should have gotten out and tourists would know better.

But we have faith that they don't.

So do the bison.

This, after all, is just Darwin's Natural Selection in action.

The dumb die.

A Field Guide To Wyoming Tourist Types

Wyoming's Wild Chinese Balloon Theories - Wrong Answers Only

With balloons from China floating overhead, and our military shooting them down right above us, everybody has been wondering, 'Just what are those balloons for?

Spy balloons?
Just weather balloons?
Are they trying to steal our satellite TV?
Are they listing to our cell phone calls?

On the Wake Up Wyoming morning show with Glenn Woods folks were invited to offer up their theories.


Here are the best we got.